saying goodbye to the people you love most in this world stinks. i mean REALLY. Impakt (a church group deal) was Tuesday night. What a beautiful night it was. I took tons of pictures and tried to capture and hold onto each memory. I'm still clutching tightly.
Wednesday night at church wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be. Well... the whole thing of Tony calling me to sit on the stage and presenting me with the journal everyone wrote to me in and then praying over me, THAT was emotional. and probably the most incredible thing any one has ever done for me. When I got home that night, I read each one of the notes that was written to me. I cried my eyes out. Not out of sadness, but out of joy, and LOVE I have for the beautiful people I call my second family. I'll carry them with me wherever I go.
I had lunch with my friend Lindsey today, she is such an encouragement to me. What an awesome friend she is. And tonight I went to dinner and movie with Ms. Candi and Jessie. It was such a simple, but GREAT time. I cherish every second I spend with those two. They have impacted my life so much.
On the way home, while driving, I thought to myself, "I could so call up Invisible Children and back out... ha yeah right. But really, I could. I mean, it's my decision. But let's get serious, this is all God. He gave me these dreams, now I'm about to live them out. It's what I was made for. It's time to rise to the occasion, let Him put on my wings, jump off the cliff, and soar."
Yep, I could not go. I could choose the easy way. It's tempting. But at the same time SO unrealistic. It's like... the hard way is actually more realistic. Not going is the option that seems ridiculous and crazy. I know it's ONLY Him who is giving me that peace and assurance.
So, I leave in 2 days. I'm not ready, yet I am... I'm ready, yet I'm not. I was made for this. I'm banking on Jesus to come through, even though I don't know what it will look like. And I KNOW Jesus NEVER fails.
*to everyone who wrote to me in that notebook... you have no IDEA what that means to me. I'll carry it with me throughout this whole "adventure", and pray for y'all and think of you always. Thank you for being my support system. I need you. Cause I'm messy and scared just like you. we're all in this together. and that's the truth :]
-Nat
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